Movie theaters

Finally I live in a town where independent films are shown. Sometimes LA gets them before the rest of the country. Sometimes we get flicks that are never screened elsewhere at all.

It’s a pity I won’t actually get to watch any of them.

I went to go see Half Nelson today. There are other films I’m more interested in right now, but a friend wanted to check it out. It’s been getting good reviews, and if nothing else I’m sure the title is some kind of lame play on words that I’d get to make fun of later. (I really hope the main character isn’t named Nelson). I lost track of time and left myself “only” half an hour to drive the six miles to the Los Feliz 3. I got there in just under 25 minutes. And then, because the theater doesn’t have its own lot, I started looking for parking.

And kept looking for parking.

And kept looking for parking.

Wider circles every time. First a one block radius, then two, then three, then four. Not a spot to be seen. Not a single spot. Lines and lines of endless cars.

You’ve been lied to for years. The primary business of Los Angeles is not making movies. It’s being in the way. On the freeway, people sit in their cars, in the way. On the set, background actors and P.A.s who don’t have enough to do get in the way. In production offices, people with vague titles that usually contain the word “development” get in the way of writers and producers. Everyone’s in the way. Call it the Los Angeles Constant. As sure as gravity. It’s why movies are so expensive, and why ticket prices are so high. For every one person who accomplishes, there are ten who impede and obstruct.

So after 25 further painful minutes, at which point Half Nelson had been running for at least a quarter hour, I finally found what looked like a spot. But which, it turned out, was too small by a good foot. I was blocking someone’s driveway. Probably not enough so that they couldn’t get out, but certainly enough so that they’d call a towing company, because surely they are assholes.

So I pulled out and kept looking (coincidentally, this sentence also applies to an unfortunate sexual experience, but that’s a story for another day).

After five more minutes, I gave up and went home. My friend had already purchased the ticket for me, and I’d wasted at least a gallon of gas. So I ended up with $10 missing from my wallet and an hour’s worth of aggravation.

Someone once told me how much he loved going to the movies in LA because theaters were everywhere and if he wanted to see something, he just got up and went without any forethought. He’s out of his fucking mind.

On the plus side, while driving, I’m pretty sure I saw Anne Hathaway picking her nose.


One Response to “Movie theaters”

  1. ranting2006 Says:

    The story line of this movie reminds me of a modern-day version of “Narcissus and Goldmund”. Gee! I’m sorry you missed it.

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